How to Keep the Caramilk Secret
We’re so close to sharing the Caramilk Secret with you. It’s an amazing honour and a delight to be the chosen one. We know it can be a burden to keep it to yourself forever. You were selected because we think you may be trustworthy, and you could be one of the people who unlock the secret. If you need it, here are ten practical tips to help you keep our secret.
1. Don’t Think About it
If you focus on the Caramilk Secret, you’ll start to obsess about it. Distract yourself by thinking about other things, such as work or school or your grandmother. Grandmothers are such lovely women. They’re so sweet, just like Caramilk. Speaking of Caramilk, the secret behind how they get the caramel into the Caramilk bar is—oh no, we’re thinking about it again!
2. Be Mysterious
Around the world, only a few people have been told the Caramilk Secret, and you could be one of them. That is exciting and enigmatic. As long as the Caramilk Secret is kept safe, you can exploit your own air of mystery. Thanks to Caramilk, you may automatically become more interesting.
3. Don’t Tell Anyone!
One minute you’re having a conversation about your favourite bar. The next thing you know, you’re scrambling to backtrack about the Caramilk Secret. Sure, the knowledge is thrilling, but it makes it that much easier for the secret to accidentally slip out. We can’t stress this enough: don’t bring up the secret in regular conversation!
4. Change the Topic
If anyone brings up the Caramilk Secret, divert the conversation! Try changing the subject in a subtle manner, causing them to focus on the new topic. If they keep pushing you, end the conversation immediately. They want you to reveal the secret, and we trust that you won’t.
5. Evade the Answers
If you’re still being pressed, you can also give vague answers. Confirm everything and nothing at the same time. You can tell them that you know something, but you aren’t saying anything more. Now they are aware that you know the secret, but they still don’t have any idea what it is. (Warning: they may be a little bit jealous.)
6. Write Down the Secret and then Destroy it
This one is a bit risky since you’ll have to make sure all the evidence is completely destroyed. If you just can’t keep the Caramilk Secret, then write it down on paper. Once you’re done, immediately destroy the evidence. Throw it into the fireplace or an ashtray and let it burn up completely. Tear it up and dump random pieces in separate trash bins at different locations.
7. Tell it to a Pet
Maybe you feel that you need to have the words said out loud. Find a quiet place with no one else around. Make sure that your computer is off, your cell phone isn’t on a call, and voice-command technology is not listening. Ensure it’s just you and your favourite animal, and then whisper it in your pet’s ear.
8. Share it with an Inanimate Object
Maybe you don’t have a pet, but you still have to say the Caramilk Secret aloud. Whisper it to your favourite inanimate object. Just make sure that none of your tech, computer devices, or phones are listening. No, you’re not being paranoid; you’re making sure the Caramilk mystery stays a secret.
9. Say it to Yourself
You may desperately want to tell the secret to another person or at least something with a human face. The safest way to do so is to talk to yourself, specifically to your reflection in a mirror. Just as if you’re telling it to an inanimate object or pet, make sure that no one and nothing is listening.
10. Work off Excess Energy
Carrying a secret is exciting, but it can manifest in our bodies in physical ways, such as excessive nervous energy. Don’t fight this energy. Use it! Feel free to run around, yell, dance, or do something physical that will help you release all the energy. When your energy levels are back to normal, it will be easier to keep the Caramilk Secret.
Keeping a mystery as important as the Caramilk Secret is an honourable task, but it can be difficult. Hopefully, with the tips above, you will be the most trustworthy secret keeper ever.